0:04 Introductions and career ambitions
1:55 An early interest in dentistry
7:42 Different routes into work
17:14 Languages and learning
22:59 Reading
26:46 Clear ambitions and changing paths
30:31 Helping people
38:04 Looking ahead

Introductions and career ambitions

The Education Lounge podcast welcome to The Education Lounge episode six I’m with adam and his mom today and we are going to talk about Knowing what you want to do when you grow up so um we’ve just got to hear that adam has wanted to be a dentist for since how since old uh three years old it’s three years old so you’ve known for a very long time um What were your interests you know growing up and now like what are you interested in what do you enjoy um I enjoy science because there’s like lots of things to it and laws so it’s good to like remember that and I

Want to be a dentist because it’s just interesting do you like remembering and knowing everything about the mouth and disease yeah okay I finally I find it strange I don’t know I just I wouldn’t want to look into people’s mouths first time no it’s fine because as long as I’m enjoying it yeah it should be fine so yes like biology will be your yeah Alpha three before biology yep actually he has been always saying that um it’s not necessary for me to become a dentist he would love to be a dentist but anything related to dentistry he’s happy

To do he doesn’t want to get out that field he wants to stay in that field okay what do you know where that started do you have any idea where that started to be honest there’s nothing when you were three

An early interest in dentistry

Years old you know sorry sorry crocodiles I want to look at you no so when I went to a dentist I just heard them saying really cool stuff and then okay as I was growing up I just did my research and it just seemed very Interesting so you did all the like research yourself yeah just like looking stuff up yeah well um so what again you said what’s your own what were your interests growing up and and now now you’re like I know you’re into gaming I know that much What else rather stuff um I like biology do you play football uh not for a team but go to jail yeah uh I like sports in general it’s like long

Distance running that’s not my idea of hell yeah I enjoyed that yeah just john used to be behind the camera john used to be very good at so yeah until I became too fat I he loves martial arts as well he’s really really good which one is so to the place I go to it’s just every term we do a new martial art okay So it’s basically a combination yeah boxing and yeah you’re very very active and very very active and I also do swimming stages everything in and one of how many

Four how do you do it well it’s all as I told you it’s about time like and then you need to have your timetable always organized by the only thing that it’s like I feel sometimes I feel that Like for example for my social life is kind of I cut off my about 95 percent it goes all to my family and their education and stuff so the rest is just always um for example to me Friend gonna be once in a while I can’t for example go very often like meeting friends or um socializing yeah and that’s your fault to be honest with you project I really enjoy it yeah because you know that’s

The biggest emphasis on life is your kids that’s that well everybody is different but this is my own opinion so this is the biggest emphasis because once you make them reach like a level that they know what they Are doing they know what they want and then then you can relax now with adam he knows all about his same table when he needs to do his homework when he needs to do his reading when he needs to go for his activities so he’s easy person for me he Kind of organized his horse exactly yeah so but this is we’ve been working on that since when he was a child so maybe you’re gonna sacrifice a few years to get them into that level and then done especially with education it’s really important

Not always the case if not yeah I mean normally even kids are in year 11 you have to organize for them because they’re not always capable of doing it it’s quite rare that they actually organize themselves well it’s yeah that’s that’s very true as well that’s very true sometimes I Blame him because he’s oldest I go to him adam you don’t do nothing because you are the oldest but when they look into his results especially as a school he’s been doing billion this year and I’m so pleased and glad with um with him So I can’t complain yeah so I can’t just close one eye and just like I said okay that’s fine maybe he’s not doing much um like for example when I ask him adam can you tidy up your room I go and come back and then see the room looks the same because he’s in his

Computer playing um so so this is a few things and then also I always take on consideration I try to balance it’s like for example if they are good at school um in terms of behavior I don’t have a lot Of problems with him um well I don’t know I don’t know apparently he doesn’t like art and that’s where His behavior goes like down the hill but the rest um he’s got like in terms of behavior he’s got in all his subjects a except our total he got a bad grade which is I’m not

Happy about it but um I told him try for next year to be better in terms of he doesn’t like art he is more into science math english those subjects and history and geography that’s it History geography art is obviously a very crazy subject what do you do things like dt and stuff for your school yeah I enjoyed ddt because I made something today that’s crazy detail is my favorite my favorite subject what did you make today It was like a picture frame okay yes and you got to like customize little stuff that’s pretty cool did you have like a whole workshop in your school yeah dt was my my like favorite favorite subject yeah well that goes back into what like

Different routes into work

Knowing what you want to do because when I was growing up I kind of wanted to try to put in like an event I wanted to make things hey I don’t know life didn’t really take that part so why you didn’t develop your like skills into something I did try to go to uni for for dt I’ll be I’ll be completely honest I can’t draw very well that’s the same with me that’s what I think I can make stuff like I I put together stuff all the time and fix things day in day out but I can’t draw Yeah otherwise my life’s gonna go a different way oh but I’m happy doing what I’m doing now but like I said I never knew what I wanted to do but I just thought I’d be making things I always have ideas of things I could make

But you’ve known from the very beginning what you want to do which is um it’s like an interesting comparison um what about the others the other children are they you’ve already mentioned they’re not as well unless they’re Younger they won’t be as organized he’s always he’s always um he’s been always that confused um about what he wants to do or He loves cooking and he loves food in general so whatever we make a home he’s the first one who can just walk to the kitchen and taste it especially we are just like we said we’ve got like we do more like mediterranean kitchen so it is a lot of

Variety of food he can see in the kitchen and then he loves it so I always say to him dean what do you want to be when you’re going to be um oh then goes okay I’m not really sure but I think I’m going to be chef which is his good yeah Yeah which she’s good nino she’s um sometimes saying I would like to be a police officer because she’s always like mentioning the police officer but I don’t think he’s the best job in this country though especially yeah probably not Yeah so she always she’s been always um looking forward to becoming a police officer when she would be um good girl as she said when I become bigger I’m going to be a police officer do you know I brought that one any idea

What honestly um she once they have those um dressy not day or whatever it was like where they want to be when they would be old and uh she said can you get me a police Officer uh uniform I was like okay and this is that she she was maybe you won he won and now she’s year four and she never uh changed her mind into something else for the little one she’s into fashion She’s four but she’s just like what was your outcome macy what would you like to be I want to do fashion when I’m I’m going to be doing modelling fashion she always like that she’s clever though um well maybe because she’s got like an

Older siblings she’s in turn academically I feel that she’s more advanced than them when they were in her age yeah so she can even she’s going to year one now she can count in tens She can uh write down the number from one to forty she’s very advanced compared to what they were um yeah because she’s been surrounded by him exactly what I’m saying yeah I don’t sometimes when he’s in the mood he does help hollow in the mood Well how often is that really really it is difficult working with your own family though it’s easy especially teaching is it yeah he is teaching like we have we have parents that come to us who are actual teachers in school

They send their kids to us because they can’t do it at home it’s not knowledge it’s just it’s a different dynamic exactly yeah and then I just I’m I’m myself I’m educated and then I’m not sure I’m not being bad now so in terms of math there’s too many parents Who have that like they were educated in this country they said it’s really hard for people to um be good in maths and then they said that people come from abroad they are really good at math I’m not sure about it but that’s what I’ve Heard yeah I mean it can be the case so yeah so for example if like for example if you give me anything in my song can I work it out but in order for me for example to put my kids down and teach them oh I wouldn’t be

Able to do that I find it very hard teaching them firstly that I don’t think they will even listen to what I’m saying because I’m their mom yeah that makes it is yeah I work sometimes with him at home and then I find it very easy very hard to Tell him for example to explain to him things and sometimes I look at his work and then I said do you understand that he was like yeah that’s very easy um my tutor explained to me everything uh school at the center and then I was Like okay but sometimes very simple things he can’t act he can’t understand you want to explain it to him so he has a very different dynamic exactly yeah exactly um

Well what about you I don’t remember what you do actually what do you well I’m qualified in a business um I’ve got an mba business but um and I’ve got another degree in criminology And and this is like it’s not a uk degree it’s french degree yeah so um I worked as front officer before so it’s just something completely different what my Child is looking to do I just I always say to him law is good but he he’s not interested in that so that’s just like I said okay that’s fine um languages I’m always saying to him adam you need

To learn french so you can do something about it and um and I’ll ask you one language he doesn’t eat this other one english and arabic he does we do speak yeah yeah We just pick up because I’m mixed race okay I think you’re just whether you’re french no I’m I’m we I’m mixed race okay I’m algerian french I was born in belgium but my first language is fine yeah so I always say to him he doesn’t stand When we talk but in terms of reading he’s okay about writing for example to write a paragraph or something he would then uh is it different oh arabic isn’t it

So he does speak um to us french and arabic but in terms of reading or writing he’s not that great but french he’s okay it’s just like he need to improve his writing skills yeah yeah he Need to improve his writing skills english I don’t know you need to tell me english if you think this is very good I think you’re probably english is probably the strongest one yeah definitely yeah it’s good when you when you do your like creative writing stuff you Use quite high level techniques and you’re you know spelling everything’s usually quite good so his english is pretty good he’s he loves spanish as well yeah I just spanish it’s cool he loves spanish he even last time he said to me I want to do spanish and I got him like

Okay um give it a bit of time and then yeah I mean I I I did french for quite a while when I was younger um um I had I switched to spanish when I got into secondary school I think he was third or fourth year for GCSE’s the Spanish like the sentence structure is very very similar to english whereas in in french they’re I don’t know the verbs they’re mixed up yeah I found spanish a lot easier for that reason yeah french is very it’s very Difficult language yeah to be honest with you if for example even to learn the language for example just and you never practice at home you never lived in this country or something is going to be very hard for french spanish is okay it’s like for example um

For my case we used to speak um flemish at home as well which is my language so because I used to go to a french school it was hard for me to keep the flemish language even Up to now I don’t understand everything what people say but I can’t reply it’s hard for me yeah it’s similar to me without my language I I can understand that with my grandparents look I can understand everything I used to be able to speak influently um when I went into I was born here when

Languages and learning

I went into english schools they speak english make sure you speak english and everything and I just lost the ability to oh my english got Quite good because you guys from here I always say to adam english is not my first language so you sometimes you need to correct me I don’t need to correct you and sometimes I correct him so I say to him No you shouldn’t I shouldn’t just mention that to you you should correct me sometime and he goes yeah okay but you are all dark I said no he’s not what age it’s easier to learn languages when you’re younger exactly yeah

Yeah it’s very easy yeah so yeah trump might know john does a lot of languages true yeah Is very difficult what what else do you speak so I did french by project but probably not good at that germans okay german as well yeah I chose spanish over Germany I remember having that choice it’s trying to learn vietnamese exactly it’s difficult you’ve got that choice oh sure you are is it but do you speak fluently mandarin pretty pretty I mean if you go to china can you would you be able to communicate with them

Quite quite comfortably but they may use a few words here and there that I don’t know yeah that’s in every language for example if I speak to you now and then you use some words in english I wouldn’t be able to get what you’re seeing yeah I think it’s the speeds more than anything like I can understand bits of spanish and I was Easier when I went to spanish countries I could exactly cost slow conversations but when you hear those spanish people the same people talking to other spanish people it’s ridiculously fast I can’t even catch one word yeah yeah yeah it’s not that it’s not that easy It’s not that easy learning languages to be honest with you um when I came to this country I came to do my mba and um before I come I had to go to like I had I had a course of six months

Like just english because I knew that like I won’t be able even to start my mba just because well they they usually they say about french people they don’t really learn languages like english people So other languages except french which is very rare just to meet a french person Speaks to me lately yeah I found I found that if like if I if I go to a spanish-speaking country and I try to speak spanish to the waiter or the person behind the bar I’ll be quite slow and I’ll say what it’s saying they’ll allow me to say it they’ll reply

Very slowly in spanish you do it in france they just say they just know I mean you can speak english I’m just going to talk to you in english I’m never going to bother yeah but there is but you can go to places as well that they can’t even speak a word in english so they just say Um okay welcome and then that’s it that’s all so they don’t really speak but languages is is really good I found it I always advise him I say to him when you go abroad you need languages it’s like for example if there’s too Many people they do some research and they do in different languages it’s like for example now if you go into dentistry germany is one of the best countries in dentistry yeah they are really really good

So in order for him to do dentistry sometimes like it’s not he can do it in english but in one stage if he wants to go over like high with her level he can do some research in germany so He needs a bit of like basic germany I’m not asking him to he can always there is what do you call it google translator yeah I guess that that kind of takes away a lot of the yeah the learning isn’t it because these people become so lazy now That’s true yeah those are lots of people classically used in google translate for their phone camera yeah we had a conversation about this I think yeah smarter machines make you lazier and dumber yeah they do yeah like I used to be able to go

Everywhere by using a map or memorizing it in the car or whatever and now since since since it’s become onto the phone yeah I put on google maps to go around the corner yeah it’s but you know before I could drive the length of the entire country by Memory yeah now I just tried even now it’s like for example if for example you you’ve got like a trip you need just to organize your journey half an hour before you leave yeah before we used to look into the mall for the whole day we need to go there here Here yeah but not anymore like that which is well in one hand it makes our life easier it makes it easier but it means your your brain has to do less work and that’s that’s the problem people having uh that dementia problems now it’s like

Reading

Too many people because we don’t do like we don’t do reading out as we used to be people they know they don’t like use books as it used to be but everything that they’re looking for they go to google and then google it yeah oh yeah audio books doing a lot of audio Exactly yeah and people like watch stuff like this rather than you know what I’m saying yeah because time is not people are so busy they don’t have time now I guess that’s the thing you can listen to an audio book or you can listen to a podcast or whatever while you do something else exactly if you’re Reading you can’t like walk when you can you can’t really probably walk and read or drive and read yeah yeah of course yeah because it is you’re you’re not wasting time you can fit it exactly yeah that’s the way everything’s going um so yeah well to discuss two different

Two different parts nine what you’re going to do with life and going with the flow and seeing what happens do you know which one you were do when you were growing up all like getting into your career do you were you did you always know okay I want to do this or do you sort of see where things Took use or fall into it and um well I use this when I was very young I always like um being a criminologist but because I come from a family they were all in business Including my dad and um when I was going to uni dad I wouldn’t say he forced me he just he advised me he said it would be better to go for this path rather than the

Other one well in one um hand he was why because uh when I finish my um degree and as a criminologist and I started my work experience Um it wasn’t that easy for me I couldn’t cope what sort of stuff did you have to um do you work do you work for yourself now are you working with somebody else oh no no no I’m um I work for someone else now uh but in like back-up days um I was Working in france and well if he everything he was related to for example children bodies dead bodies and stuff I couldn’t afford it yeah I couldn’t cope with it um

And then I was like um well I’ve got a degree so I can go back to that so I had degree in both of them criminologists and um business so I stopped that I left that yeah I mean Looking into people’s mouths doesn’t sound too bad now and um I left that I and then I just um choose to go to into the um business side I did some business side by the end when I when I had the opportunity to go back to my old profession I didn’t miss the front officer is related only to like is something connected with money

With banks with all these transactions so there’s nothing to do with um like grime and stuff like that so I’m quite happy now because I’m just in a field where I’m doing what I like and then what I wanted to do since when I was young let’s see so I guess that’s to your whole like whole family then just everybody knows what they want to do from very young age you did you do siblings do

Clear ambitions and changing paths

Strange no um maybe me and him um we like we were we are like he’s 100 where he wants to be yeah I was 100 what I was to be what I wanted to be But with the kids they know but they’re not hundred percent yeah any point they can maybe say oh I want this I want to be this I want to be that it’s like dean last time he said is it good to be uh what did you say Or the train travel well I never experienced that so I can’t tell if he’s good or not so he he’s got his ideas in his brain but he doesn’t know what he wants exactly

Yeah so that he he never knew where he wanted to be what is what is what did he do he worked for tfl as well oh okay right so they’re training okay yeah so he’s always he’s been always um he’s Always said that um he’s into business as well he he loves uh businesses um he loves developing business he’s got very good business plans for like for example um New businesses and stuff he can um like make the business go quiet yeah fast like how do you say um more than the expectation yeah he’s very

Skilled in that but by the end he found himself in different paths as well yeah it seems to happen um well I I’m I’m enjoying like everything with business I haven’t done this degree I did graphic design Degree you know hence all the books and everything else that we’ve got going on um but one of the most enjoyable things is going like bringing this business from teaching a few children at home to two centers you know YouTube social all The booklets and books everything we’ve done that in the space of five five years six years and I’ve really enjoyed that but I’ve never actually done business as um like a subject in school we didn’t have that option at school and I didn’t take it for

Um my degree either I see that is something that I wish I kind of did if I took that path well business is good in terms of money because you can do law is Businesses when um like all the students look into things they look into um into it for money it’s like now my kids they go to they ask me about we sometimes we discuss at home some proficient and they give like is Being that the good money is billions is good money and I always correct them I said no do look into things based on money look into how much you enjoy that yeah as long as you are happy you enjoy it

It’s fine but don’t look into money because money it doesn’t mean happiness money doesn’t mean men happiness and they go okay okay it’s like for example adam now he loves being dentist but he never mentioned money about it he Also always say okay um I like helping people if they have a toothache I’m going to help them to get rid of that so which is when you look into that it’s the right way to think about it thinking about also

Helping people

Helping people is not only making money or doing something it goes like if I’m gonna be working in the lab I would do a lot of things that will help people to show their food Like he’s always looking last time he gets to me even being um a much faster um thing is good in dentistry I was like yeah that’s really good so he knows what he wants he’s not Um only focusing in money which is on money which is good for him as well that’s good I mean you should be all right even in that regarding dentistry it should be it should be fine I don’t know why we’re still waiting

I don’t know you know we’re still waiting for GCSE we’ve got some time I don’t know how to get in like for science yeah yeah in your group not the class of the whole year yeah Yeah yeah because you’re interested in it and then he had in the highest mark in his year group in geography and in months well doing well yeah so we can see some like a good result for being One of your students that’s well that’s what we think that’s what we’re here for um how I kind of mentioned it a little bit how do you balance what both of you but how do you balance

School tuition work shipping everything else and then that times four however you kind of mentioned that now that it’s not easy anyway Yeah it’s not that easy but I’m trying my best it’s like it’s it’s always there is there’s something missing maybe I give them everything but when I look into myself I find myself like um okay Um maybe I need armor I need this but it’s okay it’s just um I wouldn’t say um I regret it but sometimes I find it easy I found it um quite hard now like working from home is quite easy

But when I’m running to work exactly in the morning I need to go I need to uh like for example manage the after school club for them to if in case I’m gonna be late or something I need to um be on time it’s quite stressful But by the end as long as I see that smile in their faces I’m happy it’s just like I can’t complain that’s um how it is yeah yeah I used to be when my mom was um working in the city I was always the first one to drop to school at six in The morning or something she’d go off to work I’d be I’d be there until school starts yeah and then I go to an after school thing I’ll be the last one out in school as well yeah so I was there from like six in the morning could get picked up for like eight well yeah she had to drive from the city

And that was just with two of us oh yeah me and my sister exactly so is it was it like do you used to go to a Tuition center or something are your days or um they weren’t really as much of a big thing back then uh I I think I had a tutor that came to my house when I was younger um I did do cream on for a bit as well when I was younger which um it’s paid off maths math-wise it’s helped me think quicker and you know be able to do quick calculations and stuff which is useful oh yeah um yeah they weren’t as popular exactly

Yeah but maybe also the parents at that time they had more time to afford yeah maybe is that for example the weekend for for example for me personally their weekend is completely fully booked between activities tuition Um we don’t really get a chance to or day off as you are saying or for example if there is a birthday party going on something sometimes they miss because we can’t do everything just like for example Sometimes I ask them do you want to go to the party gonna go to swimming so they keep swimming over the party I just I want to go to swimming so okay it’s fine let’s go to swimming he’s got um a tuition every saturday so which is I need

To take that in consideration as well so it’s not I don’t know the time now is it flies by it’s strange you’ve got all these things that make are supposed to make you have more time and it’s doing the opposite yeah exactly It’s just as a time that just means more can get filled in that’s what it is is is really is really hard especially when both parents are working is not um it’s not that easy uh to cop oh sometimes I feel like oh they are now quiet oh adam is helping Now um a lot he does help a lot exactly tightening up looking after his sibling helping that it’s like dean and nina they have that school thing he called papamash so they do their homework from home he’s always like um he sit with them and

Make them do their work correctly if they are struggled he does explain to them and this is also always I say to him because you’ve got you get a lot of tips from the tuition center you need to pass that to your siblings as well it’s not about and he does I don’t know how to explain it’s the same issue between me and the kids yeah yeah he finds it hard no but I do like more advanced oh so like because they’re in there you’ve never been in year four and year three right he was born in year Seven I noticed stuff in like year four and year three but I can’t really pass anything on from like fishing because I just do harder something they probably won’t even get it even if I explain it well well you might be explaining your stuff

You’ve been training their stuff exactly he said today and he says to then always I do you see assistant you know just your sister yeah so so he’s just like he thinks that he’s So advanced comparing to him others to them it’s just like well if you’re comparing to a year four then yeah if you want to know if somebody has understood something fully they’ve understood it fully when they can explain it clearly Um [Laughter]

Difficult yeah geography yeah but now you’re doing very well in geography isn’t it so so we’ll start to wrap it up then how moving forward

Looking ahead

Really plan for the future anything you’re planning on doing or in the future yeah like well obviously you’ve got your GCSEs and stuff in a few years um well for both of you what’s jeff Moving forward just while your plans flow after you come out of the situation that we’re in and everything goes you know opens up again we’re looking forward for just the most holidays that’s the first year me too I don’t really get many of those that’s the first thing when they always Asking about how many days the little one is asking about nights how many sleeves yeah how many sleeves till when you go for holidays so um it’s always like just looking forward

Affords now for holidays that’s the first thing second thing we are looking my me personally I’m looking forward to see adam going to um the dentistry university a sucker got a few years ago as well Yeah that’s which yeah but those few years we need to get ready for them because you can’t just looking forward to something without working for it yeah if you’ve got your goal you’ve been working that’s what I’m saying yeah so um [Music] For now that’s like at the most important thing is that I believe that those like my kids are my emphasis in life so because you know project when you are a successful person

There is some parents maybe they won’t be agree with me at that point but based on what your kids are you’re gonna see yourself successful or more I believe on that point And in my um opinion as well giving the kids what they really need when they are younger is a result while we see When they are older yeah I believe on that because maybe I can see or I’m spending a lot of money on their education while she are taking them to tuition they don’t need it they can just do I

Just I’m buying a lot of books and that like at the moment I see that this is a law but once they are old and they like get into whatever they wanted when they were young I would feel like okay I did my Duty as a mother when they were young and this is my reward when they are old so I believe this this is what I believe on yeah yeah and basically investing now so for the future yeah yeah it’s like it’s Like for example for you it’s true in one point your mom was struggled she just had to drop you off as close to school pick you up late doing that doing this by one point when she looks at you now and what you become she’s so proud of herself before she’s

Proud of you she’s part of herself because she did her duty as mother when you were young so that’s always our advice parents to not look into why you are spending now or How much time you’re giving them now because that what will be the result for the future trust me yeah I wish I hadn’t given me um enough time and you would be oh though are you yeah if you’re not fine yes well because I’m giving you more time yeah you have to ask his receptionist [Laughter] you see all right um we’ll end it there just before you go I’m just

To say thank you for taking time out of your busy life oh that’s really funny that was just returning favor you are doing a lot a lot with adam which I really really really appreciate Oh thank you okay thank you very much thank you it’s really hot anyway I don’t mean indeed isn’t it thanks very much it’s really kind of you yeah thanks for coming in um end of episode six see you next time [Music] you